Belated Mother’s Day and Dementia
One of my hardest memories is watching my mother pine over my grandmother, who lived with dementia and severe rheumatoid arthritis for seven years.
I cannot count the vacations, birthdays, holidays, and special moments with grandchildren that my mother missed because she was waiting by her mother’s side, believing the end was near.
At my grandmother’s funeral, I felt torn. No one wants to lose someone they love. But after seven years confined to a nursing home, the last five mostly in bed, her mind affected by dementia and her body locked by arthritis.
I understood the pain my mother had been carrying and I had no answers.
One of my fondest memories was during a visit when my grandmother told me the staff had stolen $50 from her sock. I said, “Grandma, I’ll give you $50 if you can even touch your ankle.” She laughed. I don’t know if she laughed at the joke or simply because we were having a conversation. But I hold on to that moment.
This disease takes and takes and takes.
Now, in 2026, I cannot fully explain the pain of facing dementia again, this time with my own mother.
My mother is the woman who taught me hard work, discipline, how to swallow anger, keep moving, educate yourself, and finish the mission even before I joined the US Army.
Dementia does not always arrive loudly. Many times, it has been present for years before families notice enough changes to push for an official diagnosis.
I share this because I know I am not the only one affected.
So, I challenge you to remember:
You are not alone.
Start conversations early with your parents and loved ones. Ask about their wishes before dementia or another chronic illness makes those conversations harder.
Vote! Pay attention to local leaders who are investing in senior care. Our seniors are one of our largest populations, many have worked hard their entire lives, yet care remains fragmented, confusing, and often financially devastating.
Dementia is not just measured in time.
It is measured in emotion, logistics, finances, missed moments, family strain, and love.
And families should not have to navigate it alone.
Stay Inspired,
Shonda
